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2006-05-07 - 5:43 a.m.

The event was nice, but I was once again reminded of how hard this transition to the West has been for me. I've met more people and have managed to find a few friends in the crowd, which is great. But it's just missing something. It was definitely more fun to go to events when I was going with my best friend, that way I was guaranteed to have someone there that I wanted to hang out with and who didn't mind if I hung out in their day shade all day (not that the Adlertrees seemed to mind that I hung out in their space all day... Heh). It was more fun when I had a vested interest in cheering on someone on the list field. It was more fun when I was involved instead of just observing.

Coming to an event solo and with is a child to care for is just a different adventure. I can't really volunteer to do anything, because I have to keep an eye on Ryan. I can't really wander around much, because I need to keep Ryan out of the sun until he's old enough to wear sunscreen. So that eliminates the two easiest ways to get involved. That leaves me basically in "hanging out" mode.

Once again, at the end of the day, I find that I miss my household. I miss my Barony. I miss having a place where I fit on those days when "hanging out" was all I was doing. And so I have to keep trying to figure out where I fit, or if I still fit in the SCA at all.

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